Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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