This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You took a bar mat shot.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
