do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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