they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
