it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
