is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
