I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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