So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
