planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
