i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the liver wants what the liver wants
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
