I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
