hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
