oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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