Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
