He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
