I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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