If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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