he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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