my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
