So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
this is an emotional support booty call
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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