i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
