k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
