Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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