Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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