I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
