Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
