Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
