What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
