yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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