I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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