I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
