My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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