Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
