I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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