I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
