I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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