About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
