you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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