Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
