You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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