Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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