Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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