The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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