names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
