I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
