Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize