don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
