i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
