Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
