Soap is not a condiment
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
