I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
