who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
