Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
