Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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