At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize