watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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