It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
