i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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