Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
