Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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