No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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