Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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