Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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