My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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