I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize