I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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